Turning 30

Lessons Learned - Turning 30 and embracing the journey ahead!


So the day is here, I am now 30 years old (or young) today! This day 30 years ago at around 3AM I entered this wonderful world. When younger I thought, "30, wow, I will be a millionaire, own mansions around the world, have this, have that..." and here I reside, staring at the ever changing and moving dash on the timeline that is unforgiving and unstoppable. Here are some ways I have embraced my short time on this planet thus far, and some valuable lessons I have learned.

You learn "How you react to obstacles defines your identity", and that "You're as great as you help others become". Turning 30 reminds me that time is the most precious resource we have, especially due to it being a resource that you cannot create nor destroy. It becomes less about achieving these materialistic goals, and the great things in life are the relationships you have made, what you have connected with, and how you have reacted to the obstacles you have encountered. I approach this say with a happy energy of the great things ahead vs. what a lot of people do when turning 30 which is the negativity of what one has not achieved or done yet. This pit stop on my journey allows great reflection, purpose, and possibilities for the future.

We all assume a lot of who we will become, let alone who we are and what we should accomplish. I am comfortable with this day, as I feel on this leadership journey I am on that I have done much to help others, improve myself, and live a life of significance vs. success. I feel success follows you if you live the right way, surround yourself with the right people, and are of service to your friends, family, and community. You may not see the payoff in the short term, but for long term happiness and sustainability, I hope you figure out it is about these things. If not, I have learned from experience that we will have challenges, life's (God's) plan outweighs your desires, and it is easy to simply become consumed with distractions and temptations at times.

I have learned that we all need that friend that truly cares for you and will listen and be there for you when it's less than convenient. I learned you can count on your true friends to move you on a Sat. when it would be more fun to make up an excuse. I have learned that it is not always easy to truly appreciate where you are and what you have, but you better learn to appreciate it by being present and realistic or you will be a confused fool. This spills over to others and they will not trust or want to be around you if you are not authentic. You learn not to keep points, how to argue better (at times not arguing at all), that it's easier to change yourself than others, and a lot of people would rather avoid vs. confront challenges.

I have learned that freedom is realizing that you will not always understand, but it is important to forgive. Submitting to this is not easy, and never will be. Saying you are easy going and being laid back are two different things. That whole 'actions speak louder than words' thing really resonates. You realize that it is not appropriate to go to keg parties and stay out past 2AM or your whole week is a wreck!

You learn that all those mistakes you performed in the past really shaped and molded you into who you have become, and hopefully has allowed you to share your story with others to help them. You learn that you have faults that you really need to improve upon, and it is easier said than done. If you don't own the efforts you are leading with passion, you more than likely will not be successful with your initiative. You must learn what really matters, and how relevant those things that matter are an essential part of fulfillment for you.

You learn to appreciate others and their time with the little things, and that expectations you may have for yourself or others may need to be adjusted. People may seem selfish or unavailable, but they have their reasons, and at times they may not be significant, but they will frustrate you tremendously. You learn how to deal with others, hopefully, and you also learn that you may be around many yet feel alone at times. Being alone isn't always a bad thing, but you learn that you may have some challenges going on that only you have encountered, and once you let go of your pride and reach out, you realize that others are rowing in the same boat with you!

You quickly learn that there are corporate ladders, liars, and cheaters. You learn that you have to "move your feet to a different beat", and as long as you are above ground, your heart is beating, and you are moving your feet that all is good! You realize that others thought things about you that you never knew (good and bad), that your family really isn't all that bad and can be cool at times, and the way you looked at yourself isn't at all the way others see you. You will be surprised at how some will step up for you, and shocked at how others won't even be around.

Turning 30 makes me appreciate these things and more. You think, "where did the past 10 years go?!", and where am I going. You stand up straighter, and your smiles become more genuine. You appreciate life differently, and have formed into a more stable you, hopefully. This leads to settling into more of who you are, what you believe in, and also what you won't settle for. This at times can make you stubborn, ha. I try to remain open, willing to listen, and smile in the faces of adversity, differences, and others opinions. You learn to listen more, and talk less. You learn to that smiling and moving on is more important than remaining bitter. You learn that you have to take time for yourself, you will have to learn how to 'weather storms', and it is important to have good people around you for a sounding board and support.

I no longer have excuses, as this age number strongly states I must be a mature adult. We should be this before and after 30, but now it is on paper. I know some under 30 who act 50, and some at 50 who act like teenagers. I have friends whose face looks shocked when they find out I am 30 now, and those who are over 40 who say "Aww, you're young, if I could go back to 30's, wow...".

People call me sir, I notice my metabolism has decline and I can't just eat all that I want when I want, I can recall the 80's and 90's and remember the Lakers vs. Celtics rivalry, Dallas Cowboys were America's team, Michael Jordan reinvented the art of basketball, MTV changed the media of music, Desert Storm, Weekly Reader, cartoons (when they were good), the A Team, MacGyver, gangster rap, grunge rock, the internet and life before emails/social media, and other pop culture fun throughout these times.

You do less searching and finding of yourself and more creating. You have some value to add to life through your experiences. Your perspectives change, and you don't have these lofty goals as they become more focused and realistic. You see that life is precious, your friends have gotten married, divorced, remarried, and have kids. You have gone to funerals of friends and or family that may not have left this world at the time anyone would have thought.

You learn you can't change everything, and you should still approach life with a dreamer spirit, but with a more realistic approach. You didn't become a rock star, pro athlete, or famous actor, but you can still have impact! You go to the Dr. and they're almost your age, ha. You learn, hopefully, not to take things for granted, how to manage your life and time better, and where to invest your energy. You learn, "Don't be the hate you hate", love more and be angry less. You learn how valuable improving your mind, body, and spirit is, and that you won't improve by sitting still. You realize that, "Good things come to those who wait", but, "Great things come to those who don't wait"!

I have made friends and lost friends. Made some really great decisions and totally lost my mind with others. I have forgiven and been forgived. I have asked for much, and and am lucky at times that I have not gotten what I have wished for (like the country song, 'thank God for unanswered prayers', ha). I have been in and out of love, had my heart broken, and broken hearts. I have had some great wins, and also some great losses. I have learned to have focused passion, confidentally moving forward, not let fear steer decisions, and be persistent. There are consequences to decisions, and you learn how to better assess situations as you gain experience. Wisdom is gained by taking (calculated) risks, and experiencing life. I have learned that manners are an important attribute to add to your character traits.

Things You Should Accomplish or Learn By 30
*these are what I recommend, so by no means should you base your life upon them, ha
how to sky dive
not to have bravado when skydiving, just admit it scares you until you land, ha
have a 401K (hopefully you started this at 20!)
not to wear a brown belt with black pants
do not wear brown shoes with black pants
how to put up with challenging co workers (and to manage up)
how to put on a fake smile and people don't know it's fake
how to tango or salsa, have at least one dance you can resort to
know a few (clean)jokes for any situation
be able to talk about 10 books you have read during various conversations
memorize your favorite poem
volunteered a several organizations to find where you love and can help
gone to your parents, siblings, or friends house for no reason and help them with anything they need without expecting anything
fallen in love
know how to fix a flat tire, replace brakes, and or change your oil in your car
learn how to pick out a wine and or taste, have a favorite wine
mentored some youth
had at least 3 jobs, and know what you like and don't like for a career
have a group of 5 good friends that will help you move anytime
traveled outside of the US
gone to an art museum
lived somewhere else besides where you were born
have a weekly workout regime
know when to let go of your pride and apologize
know how to respect others opinions, but know where you stand on an issue
know all the words to your favorite song
have a savings account that will support you for a few months (emergency fund)
know how to change the starter in a lawn mower
been camping
know how to read a map, and ask for directions if that fails
keep a journal
donate to a charity
been in a friends wedding
learn that your plans will change, and how to adapt to that change
learn a foreign language (and visit the country where they speak it)
travel to Italy (Venice, Florence, and Rome)
how to cook on a charcoal grill
planned a surprise party for someone
know 5 of your favorite bible verses
still send snail mail, and know your friends & families birthdays
have people around you that will be honest, help, and listen to you even if you
had a pet (prefer dog, ha)
gone to college, or attempted college courses (know it's not for everyone, gotta try)
painted a room
stopped by a friends or families place unannounced to just tell them you love them
have a business card
know all the words to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song, don't ask, just know it, ha
been in the newspaper for something
I will add more later, and look forward to things you feel you should learn by 30!




I have learned a lot, but by no means have it all figured out. Hope you enjoyed what I have shared, and I invite you to share what you have learned so far on your life journey!

I am off to enjoy this day, and am celebrating like any mature adult would, and that is with friends over pizza and laser tag, ha!

I leave you with thoughts from others on turning 30

30 Reasons Why Turning 30 Rocks!

Turning 30 by Andy Rooney

For the Ladies Turning 30

10 Things to expect after turning 30

Turning 30 and changing the system

Turning 30 chat group

Things to Accomplish Before 30